Do you think that if you would practice yoga every day you would be nothing but happy all the time? Well, call me naive but I thought so! And it is true. For a part. But only for a part… Bad news is that even with a regular yoga practice we can’t control what life throws at us. But good news is that with help of yogic techniques we can definitely control our response to all of it. We still have a choice.
This morning I shared Sadhana with Olivia via Skype and after a short conversation with her I was more than ready to start my day, peaceful and fulfilled as I felt. Suddenly Aska, my 13 year old dog, had a kind of a seizure and kept on moving her legs strangely, completely disoriented. All that peace and contentment the yoga practice gave me this morning just disappeared in a blink of an eye. I felt a piercing pain in my chest and couldn’t keep my eyes dry. In that second, out of fear of losing her, I allowed my emotions to take over control over my body. I couldn’t stop crying while trying to help my dog to come out of that seizure.
She is ok now. My old dog lady sleeps like a baby and I’m watching over her like a freak. Listening to every single breath of hers. While watching her breathing I realized – I forgot my own breath. Since that ugly scene in the kitchen this morning I completely disconnected from my breath and in this way from my own body. And this is why I can’t stop crying. Ironically, this morning I proudly informed Olivia how much I improved emotionally since we started our yogic journey last year. Oh what a joke. Look at me now!
Coming back to my breath again I had to think about this video I stumbled upon few days ago.
What I have learned so far is that whatever overwhelms me, is not good for me. If an emotion takes control over my body it always happens because I’m disconnected from my breath. Nothing else. So I try to go back to it. To feel it. As long as I’m able to control my breath there will be no place for unhealthy thoughts or emotions.
Soak up the words of these kids. And just breathe. You don’t need a detailed instruction for it. Sit down. Close your eyes. Listen. And just let your breath guide you to a more neutral state of mind.